Last night, I had one of those truly memorable times with my precious princess Kitty. I was so sore from emptying boxes all day and just wanted to get into a steaming hot bath, turn off all of the lights, light a candle, and relax. I didn’t want any noise or any light or any interruptions. It was perfect. Sort of.

First of all, this is still my life so nothing except my husband and my children are actually perfect. In my new home, I have this wonderful, enormous bathtub. The problem is that we don’t have a hot water tank large enough to fill my wonderful bathtub. The water was lukewarm at best. Little Kitty came in to check on me, and I asked her to see if her daddy would boil some water for my tub and bring me a match for my candle. (High maintenance woman, right?) While waiting for Rowland, little Kitty asked if she could get in with me. My knee jerk response was NO WAY!!! Thankfully, I realized that I was about to miss out on a special memory. Rowland brought up the boiled water and lit my candle (I know, I know - He’s perfect!), and Sissy (little Kitty’s nickname) jumped in with me. What a wonderful time we had visiting in that lukewarm-turned-cool water. Her whole body seemed to come alive as she softly talked to me about all three of her schools, her friends, the boys she’s “loved,” her teachers, and anything else that came into her mind. As we sat there for an hour, I tried to remember every moment, the wonderful ambiance, her beautiful smile….I even remember wondering if it would be inappropriate for us to sit in a big tub together when she is 16 or 18. (I’m sure it would be - don’t comment!)

Bottom line - Thank you, Jesus, for softening my heart and helping me to see the special time You had set aside for my “sissy” and me. Please don’t ever let me forget one second of it. May my face light up as I spend time in Your presence. May I talk softly to You about all of my hopes and dreams. You would relish every second, too, wouldn’t you, Heavenly Father?

I’m so excited! Every single box in the house is empty!!!!!! Now, to be fair, I have to admit that there are a few, a very few, boxes in the garage that still need to be tackled. I also have a living room full of pictures that need to be hung on the walls. We’re not done, but the boxes have left the building!!!!

Rowland went to work today and encouraged me to try to finish up the end of the boxes. I’ve done it while Jia has talked non-stop. Literally. It truly amazes me how a four year old can put words together constantly for an entire day. She’s played school all day, and I’ve been her grandmother. She has also talked about how much she misses her “Popper,” my daddy. (He’ll be here Saturday or Sunday so she can talk to him then!!) She did stop for just a few minutes to draw a picture for “Ms. CC” in San Jose. (Actually, it’s a picture of Ms. CC that I’m to mail to her.)

I’m going to go lie down with my chatterbox before William and Kitty get home from school. She doesn’t talk when she sleeps, although rumor has it, I do! Turnabout’s fair play!

I know that you’re all so excited to hear what I have to say about Britney Spears. I’ve been thinking about her all day today. I’ve been thinking about how like Britney I am. No, I don’t have her bikini body, and I can’t sing like her (although for some of you, that may be a blessing!). I definitely don’t have her money or her fame. I did, however, start in much the same place as Britney. I, too, grew up in the South in a Southern Baptist Church with Christian and traditional values in my home. I, too, loved to sing and desired to do that more than just about anything - except get married and have children. Britney, too, according to her own words, desperately desired to have a family of her own. She obviously has been searching for love and acceptance, just as I did (and still do). Like me, she chose to ditch her “good girl” image and go for the wild life. Perhaps, like me, she just felt a little (or a lot) rebellious. She, too, chose the bad guys, the ones that only tear down what little self-esteem you possess. She, too, never could figure out who she wanted to be. She gets the worst dressed award so often because she’s trying to show us all that her body looks good. She changes her hair color so often because she can’t figure out how she looks the hottest. She has become more and more “nasty” in her songs, her dance moves, and her dress because she so desperately wants to prove to the world that she is more than the “good girl” she was tagged. She wanted to be a mom so she had two precious children, only to be criticized for every wrong move. She couldn’t measure up there either! She couldn’t keep her marriage together. Then, after having two children so close together, she was told by the press that she’d never have the body she’d had before. Ultimately, she couldn’t handle the pressure anymore - from within herself and without. She couldn’t handle the constant battle between the two Britneys. She snapped, shaved her head, and the rest is history.

While I agree that she is making incredibly poor decisions, ruining her reputation (what’s left of it), and destroying a once-promising career, I can’t help but feel really sorry for her because I recognize Kitty in her. As I look around my world, and I meet the young girl who’s living with her boyfriend, or the kid who’s messed up in drugs, or the happy-go-lucky life-only-goes-around-once young adult, I want to have more compassion. I don’t want to be the one criticizing those people making those decisions, partly because I, too, made some of those same decisions in another life, partly because I have more mercy than a person ought to have. My heart hurts instead. I hurt for the persons inside those bodies who are trying desperately to be accepted, loved unconditionally.

We can each acknowledge that the Britneys around us need better guidance, but the rubber meets the road when I come alongside “Britney,” and I love her like I wanted to be loved, like Jesus loves me, like Jesus loves “Britney.” I think that that’s what God has asked of me, is still asking of me. And that’s where I’m going to live - with His help and thanks to the love He has shown me, continues to show me each day. And in the meantime, I’m going to pray for Britney that there’s a “Kitty” out there who can show her the love and acceptance she’s looking for in Christ.

Today is one of those very few days where I have little to say, but Grant English got my blog up and running so I feel like I need to write something. The goal of this blogspot is for friends and family to be able to keep up with our family in Colorado, but it’s also a place where I can express my own feelings and the weird things that float in and out of my mind. Today, my “rant” is against companies too big to find the owner or the supervisor or anyone who is in charge. I’m wanting to go back to small town grocery stores and other small town stores where you actually get service. I’m even willing to pay more for it! I’ve been fighting with Comcast, the newest discovered planet. I was on the phone with them for 3 hours yesterday, listening to lots of elevator music and several people talking when I’d actually have gotten farther if I had continued listening to the elevator music. At least when the music was playing, I could say all of the ugly things that I was thinking about Comcast and its wretched Internet Technical Support department. In the end, all of my files had been purged (I supposedly had called and told them that I was cool with that idea!), and I had lost all of the e-mails related to our journey to get Jia. Yes, I have pictures. Yes, I have video. Yes, I have memories (although who knows how long those will keep!), but no, I do not have all of those incredibly personal e-mails that journaled the first few weeks of my baby’s life with her daddy, her brother, and me. Comcast has helped me understand how important it is to keep backup files. They have also helped me understand how important it is to record all phone conversations. Furthermore, they have explained to me in great detail that while Yahoo may have the capacity to retrieve files you have deleted from your e-mail account, Comcast doesn’t have that capability. Right!?!? Of course, that came directly from a supervisor - one over cable, not internet!!

After crying for a few hours and grieving the loss of the e-mails, I decided to wait until this morning and hope for a better answer when a supervisor in the internet department could call me. I left my cell phone number because I knew I’d be gone this morning when he called. Guess what? You already know the rest of the story. He called my home number and just left a message that he had returned my call - no name, no phone number. Thank you, Comcast! Incredible service!! I guess I’ll call the owner or a supervisor or…. Exactly! Now, you understand why I’m really liking small town stores with owners who are depending on my business to feed their families!

There’s my rant for today. I suppose I’ll go help my husband finish unpacking the last of the boxes. Or…maybe I’ll just take a nap!!

By the way, those seven beautiful children on the top of my page are not all mine (although I’d claim them all!). Four of them are mine. The other three are the English children. If you’re reading this, you probably know which four - Carson who is 12, William who is 8, Kitty who is 7, and Jia who is 4. If Carson would reach down, he could pick up Jia, and mine would be the four on the lefthand side of the picture. I’m excited about my blog and hope you enjoy it as well. Feel free to leave any comments, but this is the only place in the world where my opinion reigns over all others!!

this is just to get started.