The conversation went like this:

William: Mom, is Pop really an Indian?

Me: Yes.

William: Was he alive when the Pilgrims had their first Thanksgiving?

Me: No. (I had told him yes before.)

William: If your family is Indian, is Dad’s family the Pilgrims?

Me: Well, they’re not Indians, but I don’t know if they’d actually be considered Pilgrims. (Although Daddy and Papa do love John Wayne!)

The next day, we’re in the car headed to Greenwood, and little Kitty wants to call Pop to say hello. I dial the phone and hand it to her.

Little Kitty: Pop, did you know Squanto?

Rowland and Me and Pop: Laughing our boodies off!!! Then laughing some more!!!!

Rowland: Pop’s married to Squanto now! (Sorry, Mom! We do love you!!!)

I am tired of waking up every morning with knots in my stomach. I am tired of the constant arguing and debating that goes on every time I open my mouth. I am tired of being touched all the time. I am tired of having constant demands on me. I don’t know why God gave me four children when He knew that emotionally I couldn’t handle it. I am tired of always feeling the tears behind my eyes, begging to fall. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of feeling scared and alone. I am tired of feeling overwhelmed all the time. I am tired of everything I try to do getting screwed up. (like trying to upload pictures on this stupid site, trying to chunk it all and upload a whole new theme to start over and not havinga clue how to) I am tired of ALWAYS trying to hold it together and NOBODY understanding what that feels like. I am tired of being asked what the problem is when the problem is just WHO I AM, the way that God made me! I am just so damn tired….just really tired….So there’s the real Kitty! Voila!