I don’t like to wear a bathing suit in front of other people - or in front of myself for that matter. Amy asked me on Sunday if I wanted to take the kids to the water park on Friday, today. I knew that the kids would have a blast, and I love to hang out with Amy so I said okay. As Friday got closer and closer, I began to dread it more and more. Still, Rowland and I and our kids met the Englishes at the water park today. We actually had a good time. I went down the water slide which made my boys happy and loved on the girls some. I also was able to sit in the water and visit with Amy with little interruption, a rarity in our relationship! More memories!!
Jia and I met a girl named Deb West and her daughter from China, Anna. We had a great time getting to know them and hearing their story. God is so amazing how he matches up adoptive children with their perfect parents. The funny thing was that Deb wasn’t sure that Jia was adopted. She said that she first looked at her and thought that she looked Chinese, then looked at me and decided that Jia wasn’t Chinese, that she was my biological daughter. After the conversation last night, I had to laugh! One of the things that grieves me the most is that I was never able to feel Jia move inside of my body as I did the other children. It makes me sad to think that I never saw her when she was an infant, never heard her baby cries, or felt her nurse from my breasts. Maybe I’m weird (definitely, I’m weird!), but it is a stage of her life that I truly grieve over at times. When Deb told me today that she thought she was my biological child, it just filled a little empty space inside of me. If I believe it enough, will it be so??? No, but I do know that God just allowed my child to grow inside of someone else, and that while I might have missed those times, she is my baby through and through. And if you don’t believe me, just ask her!!!