I am so freakin’ frustrated! I have left messages for the lady scheduling Jia’s test; I have “caught” her by calling repeatedly. The hospital is in the process of moving. She told me she would call me last Friday. She didn’t and said she would call on Monday. Today is Wednesday, and I still have heard nothing. I got in touch with her this afternoon, and she explained that she hadn’t had a chance to call my insurance company yet. A new procedure has been put in place that has her scheduling only on Thursdays when she’s at the clinic. She assured me once again that she would call in the morning and schedule her tomorrow. She also let me know that she has eight tests to schedule. I’m sure that was her way of letting me know that my daughter is not the only child in the world. I just want her to do what she says she’s going to do. If she wasn’t able to schedule the test, she should’ve left me a message letting me know that. I’m pessimistic about her calling me tomorrow, although I really hope she does.

I also tried to call the doctor and was connected to the wrong Children’s Hospital and held for 30 minutes before hanging up. I finally got the right office, and the “secretary” asked me all of the information about Jia as well as finding out who my doctor is and getting my phone numbers. Then, she asked me if my call was an emergency. I told her that it was not, and she said that she is only allowed to take messages if it is an emergency. Could I please call back tomorrow? Why in the heck didn’t she say that on the front end?

I know that I’m being overly emotional! BUT I AM FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!! I hate bureaucracy! It even exists in the small town of Parker. Amazing!

Saturday was the third anniversary of Jia’s Gotcha Day, the day when we first held her in our arms in China. It’s hard to believe that we’ve only had her for three years. It seems so much longer than that. I remember that day so well. We flew from Guangzhou into Nanning and took our bus to the hotel. After checking into our rooms, we met in the lobby and took the bus to the hotel where we would get to meet our babies for the first time. I remember sitting in that room, hearing that Jiang Xiao Shen would be the first baby to be brought into the room. I’m sure that the tears were in my eyes before I ever saw her as she walked into the room (like a small den) holding the hands of two of the orphanage workers. I remember busting out with “I love you” in Chinese as they placed her in my lap. She cried and cried, and her daddy held her as he handed her the little pink bear that she still loves.

That was the first of 20 long days in China. Each day, I continued to bribe her with Diet Coke and Skittles so that she would let me touch her for just a little while. She hated me and screamed for her foster mom. She would cling to Rowland, sleep on top of him, follow him everywhere. She wouldn’t eat for anyone but Rowland and even refused water from me when I knew that she was dying from the heat. Gradually, she began to warm up to me.

On the plane headed home to Little Rock, she and I were the only ones awake. I walked her up and down the aisle singing “Jesus Loves Me” softly in her ear. “Yes, Jesus loves Jia. Yes, Jesus loves Jia.” When we finally made it to the Little Rock airport, I was overjoyed that she allowed me to carry her down the terminal to our waiting friends and family. She’ll never know what those steps meant to this momma until she has a baby of her own.

As the tears come down my cheeks, I thank God for giving me a child who was born so far away and yet born from inside of my heart. Happy Gotcha Day, my precious angel! And many, many more!!!! Mommy loves you!!!!

Cydney Jia Xiaoshen on her 3rd Gotcha Day

Jia with her best friend Cayden