This morning Carson and I became a little “sideways” before he left for school. It wasn’t anything major, but I knew that his feelings were hurt. As he was leaving, the memory of Columbine and other school shootings flashed through my mind, and I thought, “What if something like that happened to him today?” I hurriedly yelled down, “I love you, Carson!” before he left the house. I just didn’t want something to happen and that be my last memory (or his last thoughts either).
Yesterday, when Carson got home from school, he was telling me about the experiences of one of his teachers when she taught in a school in Alabama. She told the students about the school being “locked down” because of rival gang activity and of shootings in the school. Evidently, it was a very rough place to be. She even had a game plan of what exactly she would do if her classroom was under attack. Imagine living in an environment like that.
Things have changed so much. I never worried when I was in school that another student would come into the room and start shooting students or teachers. Even when I did my student teaching in a rough high school in Little Rock, I worried about being caught in the crossfire, not being the subject of a random attack. When I taught school in a rough middle school, I worried about being caught in the middle of a couple of girls’ fighting, not about being attacked myself or having my students attacked.
Carson’s middle school has a security guard at the front door. William and Kitty’s elementary school has locked doors with a doorbell and “peephole.” While I am grateful for the extra security measures, it makes me sad that that is “normal” now. We are in a nice, rather rural area. Our schools are nice with good administration and teachers. The kids all look painfully the same. Yet, school violence is still a very real possibility, something that is actually planned for “just in case.”
In addition to being concerned about who Carson’s friends are, how he’s doing in school, what temptations he’s dealing with, I also have to be concerned about his safety at school. It’s definitely enough to wear a momma out!