I love to fly! It’s quiet. There’s no telephone. I can’t do laundry or pick up the house. For the most part, I’m “trapped” in a place where I can’t feel guilty about just sitting and doing nothing. Before boarding a plane, I always stop and buy the latest People magazine and some other celebrity “crap magazine.” I devour the junk! My favorite part of the People is doing the crossword puzzle. It’s the only crossword puzzle that I can successfully complete. (So much for that great degree in English - sorry, Daddy!)

I’m not afraid to fly, and even the turbulence doesn’t bother me anymore. I LOVE IT!

While preparing to take off from Little Rock a couple of days ago, though, I experienced real fear, knots-in-my-stomach kind of fear. I wasn’t afraid of flying, but I was definitely afraid of the man sitting next to me! He was sitting there quietly with his IPod in his lap, his ear pods in his ears. As the flight attendant came by, she asked him to turn off all electronics. He showed her that the IPod was turned off so she asked him to remove his ear pods during takeoff. When she walked off, he removed his ear pods and looked at me and said, “Now I’ll be able to hear the screaming.”

Half-laughing, I asked, “The screaming?”

Weirdo: “You aren’t going to scream, are you?”

Me: “No…….” Major questioning look on my face……

Weirdo: “Shit happens.”

Me: To myself, “Our Father who art in Heaven……..”

The dilemma…….Is Weirdo just a weirdo or is he some kind of fanatic who knows that this plane is NOT taking off? Do I pull the flight attendant off to the side and tell her that I’ve just had a strange, perhaps foretelling, conversation with Weirdo? I’m picturing the plane’s being delayed, police taking Weirdo and me off the plane to question us, passengers being angry because Weirdette has appeared. I decided to pray and pray and pray and pray until we reached our cruising altitude.

At this point, Weirdo offered me a Milk Dud, my favorite candy. New dilemma…..If I eat that Milk Dud, will I scream?