My princess Jia was at Camp Pinecrest, VBS, yesterday and told one of my friends that she wanted to get married. Enthusiastically, my friend asked her if she was going to marry her son. Jia told her “no” and that she just wanted to get married. My friend said, “So when you grow up, you want to get married?” Jia responded, “Yes, so I can stay home and relax!”

Later in the day, the head of the crafts area came to me and asked what had happened with Jia and a Sharpie permanent marker. Laughingly, I responded that we’d never had an incident with Sharpies or any other markers. Evidently, during craft time, the children were to use Sharpies to color masks. I don’t allow my children to use Sharpies without my permission, and Jia has never been allowed to use them. She refused to work on the craft, stating over and over again that her mother didn’t let her use Sharpies!

This same child was the one in the bathtub with her sister arguing over toys. When she didn’t get her way, she screamed at her sister, “You’re ruining my entire life!” She’s also the same one who yells at me when I pick out her clothes, “Why do you ALWAYS pick out clothes that you like? It’s not fair!” And, when she did put on the clothes that she didn’t want to wear, she wrapped a blanket around her so that no one could see them!

Who says that little princess wasn’t born from my belly?

Well, all of my chickens are under my roof once again. We picked them up at 8:00 this morning, and it was absolutely wonderful to have their sweet hugs and squeals. William talked the entire way home, giving us every detail of the camp. KeKe interrupted often - to correct him, of course! They both made lots of friends and enjoyed the camp activities. Evidently, William became very upset on Wednesday night and had to go see the “Chief.” He really wanted his momma and wanted to come home. In his trunk, I found a letter that he had written, saying how sad he was and how much he wanted to come home while at the same time admitting that he was having a great time. He was so sweet and cried “tears of joy” (in his words) when we were hugging on each other. KeKe screamed and jumped in her daddy’s arms, immediately asking where the other kids were (outside). She was definitely ready to sign up for next year!

Once home, both girls broke down sobbing in the bathtub. KeKe said that she wished she had stayed at camp, that she missed her Nana and wanted her Nana. Jia said that KeKe was ruining her whole life! Pretty sad commentary from a 5 year old! After getting the girls out of the tub, I sat on the floor and held Kitty as she cried and cried. She missed her family, missed Little Rock, wanted to move back there (and wanted Camber to move there with her!), felt like her brothers and sister didn’t care about her. Imagine that while she was at camp, she saw William, and he ran the other direction! She was missing him and just needed to talk to him. Poor Sissy! Meanwhile, in Jia’s room, there were loud sobs during the entire exchange in Kitty’s room. Once I was holding Jia, she told me that I didn’t love her as much as I loved Kitty. More reassurance that she was my baby and my precious princess calmed her down enough to decide to watch a movie with Kitty. Now, they’re both lying on the couch watching a movie together. They seem to have found the love again! (Estrogen Overload!!)

As for my sweet William, he’s also lying on the couch watching the movie, although he’s been playing on the computer for a while. First, though, he had to have an EXTREME shower. The child did not take a shower THE ENTIRE WEEK! He didn’t brush his teeth THE ENTIRE WEEK! He didn’t wash his hair THE ENTIRE WEEK! (Rowland and I began to wonder if the counselor had taken a shower during the week.) When we laughingly mentioned it to a counselor, the response was, “Well, he swam every day!” Major, major scrubbing occurred as soon as he hit the house! The good news is that I don’t have much laundry to do for him since he also didn’t wear hardly any of the clothes that I sent him. Each set of T-shirt, shorts, underwear, and socks was packed in an individual plastic bag so that the clothes wouldn’t get wet in the shower room. (A wonderful idea from a friend!!) To unpack William, all I had to do was pull his clean clothes out of the plastic bags and put them in his drawers.

I’ve spent the last few hours unpacking, dividing laundry, and organizing our lives once again. Right now, all is back to peaceful at our home. Hopefully, they can “love” each other a little while longer! I’m just glad to have my hugs and kisses back!!!

Last week, William attended a drama camp for five days where he learned singing, dancing, and acting. William was so excited the first night that he said he wished he could go back right then. He had an awesome time and seems to have a real gift for performing!

The last day, the kids put on a super performance, and William even had a solo part. We were so proud of our little actor! As dancing was his favorite part of the camp, he went all out! He definitely got his rhythm and moves from his momma!

One funny note - William has always fallen a lot. (Apparently, he gets that from his momma, too!) In one of the scenes, he fell to the ground, and Rowland and I both gasped. He was fine, though, and just acting out his part VERY WELL!!

Does a buck really snort? That’s the question that keeps going through my mind. And if it does, what does it sound like? I’m assuming that it would only snort to protect its does or fawns. I’m not sure that a snort would ward off many potential enemies. Then again, I don’t know what a buck snort sounds like - or for that matter, if one even snorts!

I do know a few things about the Buck Snort, a really old bar at the end of a really long dirt road in Bailey, Colorado. I know that my husband went there with his dad and some fishing buddies about 20 years ago. I also know that Carson wrote on a $1 bill, and his daddy put it on the antler of a jack-a-lope in the bar on Sunday, Father’s Day. I don’t know too many dads that would choose this dive for Father’s Day dinner, but the Pages and the Smiths decided it was the perfect location. (Not sure what that says about our families!)

The BAR!!

Children Being Exposed to Things They Ought Not Be Exposed To!!!

Rowland in His Happy Place

Carson’s Head by His Butt

Carson’s Dollar for All Eternity

It had more character (and more names on the walls) than any place I can think of. It also had a ton of $1 bills posted all over the wall. Our friend sat under a “pervert parking” sign, and there were some interesting comments about choosing McDonalds if you wanted fast service and choosing Burger King if you wanted it your way. Basically, the service stunk, but the atmosphere was colorful and fun, the appetizers were very tasty, and the beer was cold. What more can you ask for besides good friends to share it with? Great time at the Buck Snort! And by the time the “dinner” was over, none of us really cared if bucks snort or not!

Rowland and His Bride

Rowland, Me, Shawn, and Kyla (on Percoset and beer - just had surgery!)

I’d Rather Have Jesus - That’s what Idrahaje stands for to those who know about the camp. To me, it stands for a week away from my two middle angels (They’ve obviously been gone for a couple of days now since I’m referring to them as angels!), missing them a ton! William went with a friend of his from church. He’s staying in a real teepee, no running water, no a/c, no beds, and someplace his momma wouldn’t stay in for more than the five minute it took to get him settled in! He was really excited and signed up for horseback riding and bike trail riding.

William and His Friend

Little Kitty went all by herself. She’s actually in another part of the camp, and she gets to stay in a cute little cabin with a/c and bunk beds! She didn’t know anyone, but she had already made friends by the time we left. I think she’s so brave!

KeKe on the Stairs of Her Cabin

And speaking of brave - I think her momma is really brave, too! It takes a brave woman to allow two of the pieces of her heart to stay in the wilderness with a bunch of strangers and no cell phones! I would’ve smuggled a couple in for them, but there’s no service there anyway. I get to e-mail every day, and you can bet I am. I miss them like crazy!

Momma with Her Two “Missing” Babies

Jia’s missing them, too. This morning, we were having some cuddle time, and I asked her what she liked best about her brother and sister. She said that William was her buddy, that he always sits next to her, and that he makes her laugh! (Me, too, Jia!) Regarding KeKe, she said that Sissy always holds her like a baby when she hurts her foot (happens often for some reason), plays with her most of the time and allows Jia to be her baby, and watches cartoons with her.

As far as Carson goes, he’s in middle school mode so I don’t know if he even realizes that they’re gone. I know that he was with us when we dropped them off, but I’m not sure that means much to him! Rowland accepts this week as a happy time for them and would never be as selfish as to make it about him or his feelings. And me? It’s all about my being away from my babies, of course! I know that they’re having a blast, though, and I’m praying that they make great friends and grow to love Jesus a little more each day.

Jia had her quarterly check-up at Children’s Hospital on Wednesday. She grew another inch!!!! The doctor is very pleased with her response to the growth hormone injections. She seems to have no side effects and her growth velocity is improving drastically. Praise God!!!

The Kind Old Lady

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

“Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”

“I don’t have any,” she replied, smiling sweetly.

“Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?”

“Ninety-eight,” she replied.

“Oh, Mrs Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

“I’ve outlived all the bitches!”

Several years ago, Rowland and I were out on a first post-baby date. I was still carrying some post-baby weight and wasn’t feeling very attractive. While Rowland was finishing up in a store, I went ahead of him to get into the truck, a huge Ford F-250. As I was climbing in, I noticed several men walking past who were obviously checking me out. I thought to myself, “Well, I must not look that bad! They think I’m cute.” About that time, I heard one of the men say, “Damn! What a gorgeous truck!”

Fast forward to yesterday at the hardware store. Rowland was waiting for some paint to be mixed, and I was back in the plumbing department looking for an ice maker kit. Once again, I was feeling a little blah since most of my makeup was gone, and I was running around in sweats. I kept noticing this man looking at me. Feeling uncomfortable, I tried to avoid the aisle he would be looking on, but I just kept bumping into him. I also kept thinking, “Why would this man be checking me out like that? I look like crap!” Finally, we ended up side by side on an aisle and happened to look at each other at exactly the same time. Embarrassed, I started to look away when he said, “Those glasses look great on you!” Me, outloud: “Thank you.” Me, to myself, “What are you, a freakin’ optometrist?”

If you’ve been reading Rowland’s blog lately (www.worshipdude.com), you know that I may be a little high maintenance in the fashion department. I just want to look cute for my husband, though! That’s not a bad thing really. He should be glad that I care, right?

Well, he does have a few issues of his own. Before I share, I do want to preface this post by saying that I love my husband to death! (Isn’t that what he always says right before he discusses my “issues?”) One thing that drives Rowland freakin’ nuts is chipped nail polish on fingers or toes. When we were newly married, someone rang our doorbell one night, and he suggested that I go put on some socks because my toenail polish was chipped. Really. Now, in his defense, he is more than willing to paint my toes or pay to have them done. He’s even okay with my going without polish. He just thinks that polish should either be on or off. Choose and go with it.

During our wonderfully relaxing time at the cabin, I decided that I’d had too many WW points for the day and pulled out the jump rope to get a little exercise. I jumped rope on the front porch for a little while (and hated it - which is another story). When I took off my shoes, my nail polish was chipped, and one toe was even bare of all color! Normally, that would not be a problem because I ALWAYS take nail polish with me on trips JUST IN CASE. Not so this time. What to do? I couldn’t spend this lovely, relaxing, romantic time with my husband and have chipped toenails (even if I didn’t have cute shoes to show them off anyway). After all, I don’t want to make him nuts every time he sees my feet. Being the quick thinker that I am, I made an appointment at the spa today to have a pedicure! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!!!

What a crappy day I’ve had! I slept in until 9:30 and only got up then because I wanted to shower before “The View” came on at 10:00! I showered, then lounged around watching my favorite girls on TV discuss things like “Sex and the City.” Rough life! Meanwhile, my husband Michael Landon was outside working like a dog. He filled an entire dumpster with all the trash around here - by himself! I would’ve been glad to help, but I was afraid that I might just get in the way! I did remember that we were getting our new appliances today so I ran downstairs to turn on the dishwasher before the new one arrived. And….he’d already turned it on! Of course!

Once he finally came inside after slaving away for the entire morning, he had to wait on me to get ready so that we could go get a bite to eat. After lunch, we walked around downtown Breckenridge and wandered in and out of the shops. I still never found the jacket or the shoes that I NEED, but I did get a cute short-sleeved Roxy jacket in one store and a precious bright pink corduroy jacket in the thrift shop. Rowland’s eyes lit up over a cool fishing hat (if a fishing hat can be cool), and he bought it and even tried it out while I napped later.

While I was napping, Rowland stained the new steps that he and Toby built the last time they were up here, and he met with a guy about delivering some gravel for the drive. He was still painting on the stain as I lay in bed and read several more chapters of my Barbara Walters memoir, Audition. Once he came in and took a shower, we both got ready for a walk downtown and a wonderful dinner at our favorite restaurant, Relish. The creme brulee put both of us over the top!! No counting points tonight! (We’re Weight Watchers’ members.)

After a long, rough day, I’m ready for bed now. My poor husband has already curled up in bed with his dog!! What a great birthday weekend! We definitely need to do it again next year!!