I was sick in the middle of the night last night and haven’t felt so great today. As a result, I skipped church, slept late, read, and piddled around the house. Then, when Rowland got home, he made everyone lunch and laid down for a nap, my cue to go back to sleep. When I woke up, he was leaving to go to the grocery store so I read the whole time he was gone. I did jump up when he brought in the groceries and put them all away. Now, Rowland’s making dinner and doesn’t need/want my help. I cleaned up the kitchen and folded a load of laundry, but I just wish sometimes that WE could hang out, instead of ME hanging out.

I love to read and watch TV and just hang. My husband doesn’t. He’s always busy doing something. The kids even came to me last night and said that I was the only responsible adult in the house because Daddy was taking a nap. Hello! I think I can handle things! I am the mother.

I know that I should feel thankful for all that Rowland does around here, but often, I feel useless, like the outsider in my own home. It’s depressing, and it stinks!

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I have an amazing husband who is also a fabulous father to our four children. We live in a beautiful home in the most beautiful place in the world, and we have a wonderful church with great friends all around us. I am thankful for my children’s schools, teachers, and even their extracurricular activities. I am thankful that God didn’t give me what I deserved but instead what He chose to bless me with!

We celebrated Thanksgiving this year with our friends from San Jose who moved here about six months after us. It was a wonderful day full of laughter and full tummies!!! Here are a few snapshots!

Rowland’s Homemade Blueberry Pie - DELICIOUS!!!

Rowland Hanging Out with KeKe, Jessica and Bethany Before Dinner

Rowland Helping the Kids Fix Their Plates

William Relaxing

KeKe Tickled

Jia Hanging Around

Rowland with the Gun While Joren Looks On

Carson Taking His Turn

Wanda and I Visiting in the Kitchen

Last night after going to see “Australia” (wonderful movie, by the way!), I came home and cooked a couple of pies for Thanksgiving. Rowland took pictures of the girls and I in the kitchen, and we all laughed and had a wonderful time together. Jia helped with the pumpkin pie, and KeKe helped with the pecan pie. We threw them in the oven, and the wait began.

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

Still Too Many

Mommy and Her Girls

Baking at this altitude is a definite challenge, to say the least. I’ve given up on cookies; I can FINALLY make banana bread after numerous failed attempts; and pies are about 50/50, especially those like pecan that have to set up. I kept checking the pies as the time ran down to the end, and they just weren’t firming up well enough on the inside, although the outside was looking overcooked. I threw a piece of tin foil over each of them, cooked them a little longer, then called them “done.”

Once in the refrigerator, they seemed to be doing fine. The pecan pie, however, looked a little too overdone on top. I decided that I’d trash it and try again in the morning.

As Rowland was leaving the bedroom totally dressed at 6:40 this morning, and I was lying in bed with the girls determined to sleep late, I asked him to run to Kroger to get some kind of pre-made pie. I had decided that I was done trying. I also asked him to look for a blueberry pie for Carson. (I had already looked at Wal-Mart and Target, and after making one last year that he never even tasted, I wasn’t going to make another one!)

A few hours later as I was getting out of the shower, Rowland came into the room and “mentioned” that he had made a blueberry pie for Carson. “You made a freakin’ blueberry pie!!!! You Suck!!!”

“Well, I did it for your son.”

“You SO suck!”

“I did buy some extra Cool Whip to put on top just in case my strips didn’t work.”

“You made strips for the top of the freakin’ pie? No way! Memaw!!!”

Rowland laughed and was obviously very proud of himself.

“You are Mr. Mom! You do EVERYTHNG around here! You are totally taking over all of my duties! I’m going to have no purpose on this Earth, and God is SO going to take me out! He’ll just look down, and say, “Well, she’s obviously not needed down there anymore,” and take me to Heaven! And it’ll be YOUR fault, Mr. Mom!”

As I walked down the stairs a few minutes later to get my breakfast so that I could lie on the bed and watch “The View,” Mr. Mom was cleaning up Christmas decorations!

Mr. Mom at Work

Smith buses are up and running today. The first bus left at 7:15 to take Carson to middle school, and the second bus left at 7:50 to take William to choir (with the girls in jammies in tow). Once home, the bus driver cleaned the nasty “public” (boys’) restroom while awaiting her next run. At 8:30, the third bus left to take KeKe to school and returned home shortly before 9:00 a.m.

The next bus will drop off Jia with her dad around 1:00 before making a run to William’s school to return forgotten library books. While Bus 1 is picking up Carson from school and driving him 30 minutes away to guitar lessons, Bus 2 will be returning from an appointment to pick up KeKe from school since she’ll have all of her books and notebooks (tracking off). William will be riding public transportation home from school, and eventually, the bus drivers and passengers will sit down for a spaghetti dinner around 5:30. At least the pay is good! I’m looking forward to lots of smiles and laughter around the dinner table tonight in celebration of our six week break! (Sorry, Carson! You did have all Summer, though!!)

What’s next for the bus drivers? A rented cabin in Breckenridge!!!! Escape from reality, here I come!!

We had friends over last night, and the kids stayed up a little too late, actually a lot too late! Being the wonderful mother that I am, I decided to let them sleep until the last possible moment, help them dress, then drive them to school so that they wouldn’t have to rush to the bus. Rowland took Carson to school, and I wrapped up in a blanket in front of the fire, eating my breakfast and watching the Today show. I was looking forward to a day at home of loving on my house, finishing Christmas decorations, making my Thanksgiving grocery list, and having a nice nap.

Finally, about 7:50, I went through the house and very lovingly awakened each of my children, even helping them get dressed. I explained to each of them that I had allowed them to sleep late but that there was no need to stress. I would help them get to school on time and well-rested. KeKe was the last to be awakened, and she began to sob out of sheer exhaustion. I loved on her, and while doing so, remembered that today was a special day for her. She has been complaining for quite a while about not being able to see the Smart Board at school and has begged to go to the eye doctor. After school, she finally gets to go! As I’m talking sweetly to her and helping her dress, I said, “Do you know what special thing is going to happen today?” (Smiling inside, I was waiting for her big smile and “eye doctor” response.) KeKe said (at 8:10 a.m.), “Oh, yeah, it’s parents’ dance day at school at 8:45!” Mommy: “CRAP!!!! I totally forgot! Hurry up! Get your clothes on!!! You have to hurry to the bus so that mommy can slap some makeup on and get to school on time. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I laid around all morning!!! Everybody, let’s go; let’s go!!! You can’t miss the bus!!!!!!”

They hurried out the door; I threw on my clothes and makeup; and I pulled my hair up in a clip. I was out the door right behind them, rushing to the school for parent dancing!

Dancing ended up being a blast, and since I’d gone last year with William, I didn’t have to use up too many brain cells in re-learning the dances. Kitty and I had a great time, and it was fun seeing her friends and their parents stumbling around the gym floor, too.

KeKe Showing Her Moves

Grant and Camber

The last dance was to “Achy, Breaky, Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus, and all of the parents seemed to get into it a little more than the others. As I was dancing, I was laughing to myself. I’ve been begging Rowland to take me dancing, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind. (Unfortunately, he totally thinks it counted!) It was a little hard to get my groove on, and margaritas would’ve been a nice addition as well!

Thumbs Up from My Princess

My Princess and I (in one of my finer moments!)

So much for my nice, relaxing day! At least I did get in some exercise!

Yesterday, Rowland, Jia, and I went to Bailey and Breckenridge to meet with log home builders about re-building the cabin. We had a great day, and it was so exciting to begin to picture having our cabin back again. We also looked at a couple of rentals that the insurance company will pay for us to get away some until ours is finished. Woo Hoo!!!!! I can hardly wait. The kids track off on Tuesday and are off until January so hopefully I’ll be posting a lot from Breck in the next six weeks! Rowland was so sweet; he even took me by my favorite clothing store in the world, Valley Girl, and let me buy a top while we were in Breck.

The only downside was all of the driving. We were in the car for hours, and although the conversation was great, full of laughter and fun planning, there’s only one thing to do when you’re in the car for that long - EAT! We stopped for ice cream, and I ate over half a BIG BAG of Ranch Doritos as well as finishing off Rowland’s potato chips. Lunch was a bust with quesadillas and Jia’s pancakes for dessert! Once home, I needed a pick-me-up so I grabbed a Milky Way left over from our candy night.

Since Rowland and I planned to watch a movie and hang out last night, I decided that I needed a good workout first. I headed down the stairs to the workout room full of absolute DREAD. I was tired and wanted to just punt the whole thing. Once in the workout room, I could tell that a couple of little mice named Jia and Kitty had been playing in my room. The little silver shoes and baskets were a dead give-away. A little irritated at the mess, I went to get onto the treadmill only to discover that the emergency cord was missing. I quickly found it under the treadmill, but it was useless since the small but very strong magnet was missing. The boys jumped in helping me to search, but we couldn’t find it anywhere.

We then moved on to trying every magnet we could locate in the house. We were going through toys, pulling things off of the refrigerator, attaching anything that might help. We had Bakugans sitting on the magnet (since they’re magnetized). Carson and I stacked the magnetic words from the fridge on top of each other. We even used the plastic refrigerator letters to try to make it work, and when those failed, I began to cut up long pieces of magnet from pictures stuck on the fridge. No luck! After about fifteen minutes of major frustration, I decided that God just didn’t want me to work out. It was obviously not His plan for my night. (Don’t debate my theology. I know it stinks!) Slightly relieved (and slightly irritated), I climbed the stairs just in time to see Rowland walking in the door.

My sweet, precious, always concerned husband decided to take on this new project for me! Within a matter of minutes, he unfortunately had the stupid thing working just great, and I was able to work out as I was SO (ha!) longing to do! So much for my word from God - or my good luck!

Yesterday, I checked William, my 4th grader, out of school a little earlier to enjoy some special time with Mommy. After ice cream and grocery shopping, we decided to run by and get his flu shot. On the way, William began to ask me about the flu, how it made you feel, etc. This conversation led him into telling me that he’s watched “House” a few times and that he really likes it. (Obviously, my parental controls on television need to be examined, but that’s not the point of the blog!!) In typical William fashion, he began to share with me the episodes that were his favorites. The first two were ones that I recognized, and I was breathing sighs of relief that those were the ones that he had seen. Finally, he shared his last favorite, “the one about the kid who’s real sick and thinks he’s God or that God’s gonna heal him so he doesn’t need doctors.”

As the knots began forming in my stomach, William shared that this kid had become sick from “S-E-X.” More knots.

Me: “Really? Sick from S-E-X?” (No clue why I was spelling, too!)

William: “Yea. He didn’t want the doctors to tell his parents because they would be mad.”

Me: “Do you know what sex is?”

William: “Uh, yea.” (Picture the “of course, mother” inflection.)

Me: “So what is it?”

William: “When the boy part and the girl part touch. It’s how babies are made.”

Me: “Is that all that happens? They just touch?”

William: “No. I really don’t feel comfortable discussing it.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll let you talk to Dad about it.”

William: “I don’t really think I’m old enough for ‘the talk’.” (Who told him it was called “the talk?”)

Me: “Well, you already know about it so you must be old enough.”

William: “I think I should wait until Carson has ‘the talk.’” (Carson is in 8th grade!)

Me: “Carson has already had ‘the talk.’”

William: “Really? How old was he?”

Me: “4th or 5th grade.”

William: “Okay. I’ll wait till 5th grade.”

Me: Silently pick up the phone to call his daddy……. I KNEW we’d waited too long!

I have everything in the world that I’ve ever wanted or even dreamed of having. My husband is a true prince among men. He continues to walk me through (carry me at times) my health issues as he loves me so completely, cares about my needs so deeply, and is the most fabulous hands-on daddy that anyone could ever desire. I have four of the most beautiful, precious children whom God ever made. Each of them is perfect in his/her own unique way, and each of them fills my heart and soul with love just as they fill my arms with hugs and my cheeks with kisses. I love the town in which we live, the beautiful mountains all around me, the sky so close you can almost touch it, the rolling hills and pastures, the “hometown” feel. I could not wish for a better church. I have amazing friends who love me, think I’m funny, make me laugh, and share their deepest hurts and highest dreams just as I do with them. My children go to wonderful schools where they are not just receiving a great education but where they have sweet friends and nurturing teachers/staff. I am so grateful for my home and our neighborhood and neighbors. My home is more than I ever thought that I would have; it’s decorated with things that have meaning to us, with pictures of our friends and family enjoying life together; it’s spacious enough for all of us to live here comfortably; and it is truly a place where I feel safe, secure, and “nested.” And last, but certainly not least, I have a true relationship with Jesus, with my Heavenly Father, with a God who is very real to me. I know that He loves me, that He’s near to me, that He’s concerned about my every thought, and that He has blessed me truly beyond measure!

So why is there still such a restlessness inside of me? Where does it come from? Is it the longing for the “not-always-responsible-for-every-little-thing” Kitty to surface on occasion? I feel the need to dance, to sing, to wave my hands in the air and release the inner me that seems to have gotten lost in Life. I want to throw the cares of Life into the wind for just a little while, to feel ALIVE. What does that even mean?

I want to be the sensual woman who must still exist inside the mommy and the wife and the housekeeper and the nurse. I want to be someone’s girlfriend (preferably my husband’s!!!)! I want to be unpredictable at times, to do somersaults and dance on the sidewalk! I want to laugh until tears pour from my eyes, and my stomach is in pain! Every once in a while, I want to shock and awe!

I met my sister-in-law in NYC the week of the 3rd and had a fantabulous time!!! Her beautiful (inside and out) daughter lives in Brooklyn and was our amazing tour guide for the week. If there’s a newspaper out there looking for a food editor, I know just the one! Amanda knows the best holes in the wall with the most amazing food! Most times, we just sat back and let her choose our appetizers, our entrees, even our desserts (except for the one night I put my foot down and would NOT share my creme brulee!). One of our favorite restaurants had no sign on the outside, just chalk written on the building! And the bathroom was hysterical! The tank was hung from the ceiling, but there was no chain to yank to flush the toilet. Since I’m only 5′2″, I had to literally climb onto the toilet seat and use the traditional kind of flusher to flush the potty. Fortunately, there was no alcohol involved at that point. The laughter in itself could have been disastrous!!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Great Music

Look How High the Tank Is!!!!
(And the Flusher’s at the Top!)

In addition to the tasty foods, we also enjoyed beautiful clothing boutiques. For the most part, none of us could afford anything in those stores, but the clothes were beautiful, and I love boutique shopping versus department store 10-of-everything shopping. I did find a precious store in Brooklyn where I dropped a little money and could have stayed a little longer. And, even though I prefer the boutiques, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED H&M’s Buy One Get One Free! Free definitely works for me! And for the shoe lover in me, I found the cutest black moccasin boots with fringe all over them. I even did a rain dance in them just to try them out. (They’ll be on my feet at church Sunday!!)

No trip to New York would be complete without numerous rides on the subway. My sister-in-law, Danea, is quite the subway guru! We did “consider” taking a train to Queens one night, but Danea saved the day once again and got us on the right track, literally. By the end of the week, I was feeling pretty dang proud of ourselves!! We could push and shove with the best of them!!

Danea in Her New Yorker Pose on the Subway

As for the end of the week, the best was saved for last. “Wicked” was our Broadway choice, and an amazing one it was! Truly amazing! I loved every single moment. The acting was fabulous; the singing was incredible; the set design was amazing; and the men’s restroom…..well, let’s just say that it wasn’t quite up-to-par, but it was available! (Jia, Kitty, and I can sing almost all of the songs now, and I even bought the book. I’m considering standing on the corner of my street in my Wicked T-shirt and singing for the neighborhood!)

But the VERY best part was just being with Danea and Amanda (and her sweet friend Wendy). I love my Danea! She has loved me the best and loved me the longest and known my best and my worst!! She has been my lifeline, my laughter, my therapist, my heart since I was 19 years old, and I LOVE HER!!!! Spending that time with her was priceless. Her daughter, my precious Amanda, saved my life when she was six weeks old. (She understands.) I have watched her grow into the most beautiful woman, so full of life and compassion, such an amazing friend with huge dreams and the free-est of spirits. As I write, I picture her dancing down the streets of Manhattan while Danea and I sang “On the Radio” over and over and over and over and over and over again! I picture our somersaults as we threw our bodies into the air and landed on the bed - sometimes on each other!

Aunt Kitty and Niece Amanda!!!

Amanda, Danea, and Wendy

Amanda Dancing Her Way Through the City

I can feel my Danea’s hand in mine as we cried to “For Good” in “Wicked.” “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

My Precious Friend

And New York will NEVER be the same!!!

The “tall shots” are working!!! Jia had her check-up at Denver Children’s Hospital this week, and all went very well. She’s still growing at a higher velocity than that of when she started the program a year ago. She had grown 1 1/4 inches since her last check 3 months ago. I’ll have to update her annual growth when I get the report from the doctor as I just can’t keep up with all of the numbers in my pea brain! While her growth velocity has slowed some, we expected that once she reached a year into the program. Still, we’re definitely seeing progress.

What a brave girl she was, too! This was her annual check-up where she fasts, drinks some liquid, then has two blood draws an hour and a half apart. She also had her wrist x-ray to check her bone age, although we don’t have those results yet. While her daddy held her during the first blood draw, she had tears running down her little cheeks. She was still so brave, but even braver the second time when she sat like a big girl on the bed, holding her blankey, watching the entire process, and not shedding even one tear or whimpering the slightest! Definitely the sign of a true princess!!!

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Jia’s growth. The growth hormone shots are virtually painless (okay, mommy’s not as good as daddy!); her dosage has been raised; there have been no side effects; and we have seen definite results! God has so blessed us in allowing us to be a part of this free program and in having great success with the hormone therapy!

Princess Jia Working on the Computer