Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, ‘That’s it! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.’

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off!

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming: ‘It’s gone! It’s all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!’

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

‘Wait!’ he screamed. ‘That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?’

God just shrugged and said, ‘JESUS SAVES’.

(Joke compliments of my daddy!!! Thanks, Daddy!! You made me smile this morning!)

I really wanted to say that 2008 was the year that I grew old, but I know that 43 is not really “old.” Only those older than I are going to say that it’s still young, though! Going into 2008, I still had a pretty good foothold on the top of Age Mountain. Life was going along pretty well - until I took my eight year old shopping. My precious daughter pointed out that the reason that I don’t look like those girls on the posters in the same clothes is because they’re thinner and…..younger! Soon after, my six year old told me that I should get some of that stuff that they talk about on TV that “gets the commas off of your face.” (Those “commas” are also known as my well-earned smile lines!)

For all of my childhood and adulthood, I have always loved the lines on my mom’s hands. I suppose that I just love her hands. I love for her to hold my hand, rub my head, rub my back, just love on me with her beautiful hands. In fact, I love her hands so much that I’ve always wanted to have them. I’ve looked longingly at my own hands for signs of those beautiful veins that stick up in her hand. In 2008, I discovered that my hands are not going to be like my momma’s hands; I have major wrinkly hands instead!

One day this Fall, I was driving around Breckenridge and noticed that I was having a difficult time reading signs both in and out of the car. I would have to ask the children what the words were on the medicine bottle. When I’d read my Bible, no matter how much light I could get on the page, there were times that I just COULDN’T read the tiny words! I immediately headed to the eye doctor, certain that I was losing my vision and had developed high blood pressure or diabetes. After a thorough examine, I was given the less-than-exciting news that I’m old. Bifocals were no longer my future; they were my present! Now, I always wondered why “old” people wore such large glasses. Mine, when I didn’t wear contacts, were the cutest little black rectangular glasses, quite fashionable. I’ve joined the club. The secret is that bifocals won’t go in those tiny little glasses! For several weeks, I walked around asking complete strangers if they thought I had “old lady” glasses! Quite annoying, I’m sure!

As if all of these things weren’t enough, I began to have some medical “situations” which led me to my doctor for bloodwork. After all of my testing was completed, it was determined that I was the perfect candidate for hormone replacement therapy! Hormone replacement therapy? You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me!

Determined to prove to the world that I AM NOT OLD, I actually went out on New Year’s Eve to a real party! It was the first time that Rowland and I had been out on New Year’s since 1996!!! We actually stayed at the party until 12:30 and weren’t in bed until 1:30. I guess my experiment back-fired, though. As we crawled out of bed the next morning, we both determined that we were too old for New Year’s Eve parties. In fact, we committed to staying home from now on and watching the ball drop in New York (11:00 our time) while lying in bed, kissing each other, turning out the light, and going to sleep.

So much for my firm foothold on the top of Age Mountain!!!

My Beautiful Family!!!

Smith buses are up and running today. The first bus left at 7:15 to take Carson to middle school, and the second bus left at 7:50 to take William to choir (with the girls in jammies in tow). Once home, the bus driver cleaned the nasty “public” (boys’) restroom while awaiting her next run. At 8:30, the third bus left to take KeKe to school and returned home shortly before 9:00 a.m.

The next bus will drop off Jia with her dad around 1:00 before making a run to William’s school to return forgotten library books. While Bus 1 is picking up Carson from school and driving him 30 minutes away to guitar lessons, Bus 2 will be returning from an appointment to pick up KeKe from school since she’ll have all of her books and notebooks (tracking off). William will be riding public transportation home from school, and eventually, the bus drivers and passengers will sit down for a spaghetti dinner around 5:30. At least the pay is good! I’m looking forward to lots of smiles and laughter around the dinner table tonight in celebration of our six week break! (Sorry, Carson! You did have all Summer, though!!)

What’s next for the bus drivers? A rented cabin in Breckenridge!!!! Escape from reality, here I come!!

Yesterday, Rowland, Jia, and I went to Bailey and Breckenridge to meet with log home builders about re-building the cabin. We had a great day, and it was so exciting to begin to picture having our cabin back again. We also looked at a couple of rentals that the insurance company will pay for us to get away some until ours is finished. Woo Hoo!!!!! I can hardly wait. The kids track off on Tuesday and are off until January so hopefully I’ll be posting a lot from Breck in the next six weeks! Rowland was so sweet; he even took me by my favorite clothing store in the world, Valley Girl, and let me buy a top while we were in Breck.

The only downside was all of the driving. We were in the car for hours, and although the conversation was great, full of laughter and fun planning, there’s only one thing to do when you’re in the car for that long - EAT! We stopped for ice cream, and I ate over half a BIG BAG of Ranch Doritos as well as finishing off Rowland’s potato chips. Lunch was a bust with quesadillas and Jia’s pancakes for dessert! Once home, I needed a pick-me-up so I grabbed a Milky Way left over from our candy night.

Since Rowland and I planned to watch a movie and hang out last night, I decided that I needed a good workout first. I headed down the stairs to the workout room full of absolute DREAD. I was tired and wanted to just punt the whole thing. Once in the workout room, I could tell that a couple of little mice named Jia and Kitty had been playing in my room. The little silver shoes and baskets were a dead give-away. A little irritated at the mess, I went to get onto the treadmill only to discover that the emergency cord was missing. I quickly found it under the treadmill, but it was useless since the small but very strong magnet was missing. The boys jumped in helping me to search, but we couldn’t find it anywhere.

We then moved on to trying every magnet we could locate in the house. We were going through toys, pulling things off of the refrigerator, attaching anything that might help. We had Bakugans sitting on the magnet (since they’re magnetized). Carson and I stacked the magnetic words from the fridge on top of each other. We even used the plastic refrigerator letters to try to make it work, and when those failed, I began to cut up long pieces of magnet from pictures stuck on the fridge. No luck! After about fifteen minutes of major frustration, I decided that God just didn’t want me to work out. It was obviously not His plan for my night. (Don’t debate my theology. I know it stinks!) Slightly relieved (and slightly irritated), I climbed the stairs just in time to see Rowland walking in the door.

My sweet, precious, always concerned husband decided to take on this new project for me! Within a matter of minutes, he unfortunately had the stupid thing working just great, and I was able to work out as I was SO (ha!) longing to do! So much for my word from God - or my good luck!

I have everything in the world that I’ve ever wanted or even dreamed of having. My husband is a true prince among men. He continues to walk me through (carry me at times) my health issues as he loves me so completely, cares about my needs so deeply, and is the most fabulous hands-on daddy that anyone could ever desire. I have four of the most beautiful, precious children whom God ever made. Each of them is perfect in his/her own unique way, and each of them fills my heart and soul with love just as they fill my arms with hugs and my cheeks with kisses. I love the town in which we live, the beautiful mountains all around me, the sky so close you can almost touch it, the rolling hills and pastures, the “hometown” feel. I could not wish for a better church. I have amazing friends who love me, think I’m funny, make me laugh, and share their deepest hurts and highest dreams just as I do with them. My children go to wonderful schools where they are not just receiving a great education but where they have sweet friends and nurturing teachers/staff. I am so grateful for my home and our neighborhood and neighbors. My home is more than I ever thought that I would have; it’s decorated with things that have meaning to us, with pictures of our friends and family enjoying life together; it’s spacious enough for all of us to live here comfortably; and it is truly a place where I feel safe, secure, and “nested.” And last, but certainly not least, I have a true relationship with Jesus, with my Heavenly Father, with a God who is very real to me. I know that He loves me, that He’s near to me, that He’s concerned about my every thought, and that He has blessed me truly beyond measure!

So why is there still such a restlessness inside of me? Where does it come from? Is it the longing for the “not-always-responsible-for-every-little-thing” Kitty to surface on occasion? I feel the need to dance, to sing, to wave my hands in the air and release the inner me that seems to have gotten lost in Life. I want to throw the cares of Life into the wind for just a little while, to feel ALIVE. What does that even mean?

I want to be the sensual woman who must still exist inside the mommy and the wife and the housekeeper and the nurse. I want to be someone’s girlfriend (preferably my husband’s!!!)! I want to be unpredictable at times, to do somersaults and dance on the sidewalk! I want to laugh until tears pour from my eyes, and my stomach is in pain! Every once in a while, I want to shock and awe!

It occurred to me as I was reading through the information on Governor Sarah Palin from Alaska, McCain’s new running mate, that NO public officer has ever enjoyed marijuana. I want to say up-front that this is not a bashing of Governor Palin, nor is it an endorsement. I’m just making an interesting observation. She said that she smoked marijuana when it was legal in Alaska, but that she didn’t like it. My memory is not that great, but it seems to me that each time someone running for office reveals (or has it revealed for him/her) that he smoked marijuana, the marijuana is never enjoyed. (Of course, Bill Clinton doesn’t really know if he likes it or not since he never inhaled. Basically, he just wasted his time and energy!)

I’m not sure what this says about politicians. Perhaps more research should be done. Can marijuana not be enjoyed by those with huge egos (i.e., politicians in general)? Do those supplying the marijuana have ESP, and therefore, only non-enjoyable marijuana is distributed to future candidates? It might make an interesting scientific study and might offer us a little more information about the physiological aspect of politicians’ brains. It might also show us what a public liar’s brain looks like (versus those of us who lie more privately)!

I want to admit here and now that I was a cigarette smoker, and I LIKED IT. In fact, I LOVED IT! Furthermore, if someone would create cigarettes that would not kill me, I’d be the first to buy them! As for the marijuana…..well, I’m not running for office!

Why is it that men get to do whatever in the heck they want to do whenever in the heck they want to do it? For some women, their husbands hunt. For some, they golf. Others have hobbies like skiing or fishing or boating. Some men run or bike or swim. There are those men who put together models or work on cars or watch every sporting event shown on television. Still others attend any game for which tickets can be found. Some men are musicians or artists or horsemen. ALL MEN have hobbies.

Many women have hobbies as well. I, for one, enjoy reading. I also love to shop and have Girls Night Out. I’d even go so far as to say that one of my hobbies is just piddling around the house. It makes me feel good!

The difference in men and women? Men choose when they’ll do their hobbies and let their wives know, assuming she’s available to watch THEIR children. Women ask permission, make sure that the man will, in fact, be at home, that he has not already made other plans. It’s universal. If you men ever wonder what we talk about under our breaths when we think you’re not listening, you now know. Many of the men I know are fantastic husbands, hands-on fathers, great providers…..Still the question remains - Why is that men get to do whatever in the heck they want to do whenever in the heck they want to do it?

Those who know me know that I’m a girlie girl. While I don’t wear bows in my hair (never have, I promise!!), I do like my fake nails, my colored medium length hair (yes, with a little hairspray), a little more makeup, my jewelry…. I also LOVE shoes and purses and have a fashion sense of my own (may not always work, but I definitely have an idea in my head). I’m obsessed, yes obsessed, with the scales and my weight - my cross to bear unfortunately. Basically, shallow as it may be, my appearance matters to me.

When I was a single girl, I never went anywhere without makeup. I’d even sweat it out at the pool after taking a shower and fixing my hair and makeup. I’d go to an early morning women’s workout at the gym AFTER applying a little makeup. I think the Bible calls that vanity! Once married, nothing changed except that I did let Rowland see me in my purest form. BUT….I always fixed my hair and makeup (after straightening the house to perfection) before he came home from work.

When Carson started preschool, I got up early enough to shower and fix my hair and makeup before driving him to school - and that was for the drop-off line! I remember being amazed at my friends who could take their children to school in their PJs. What? Drive to school in your PJs? What if someone saw you? Ugh!!! I also remember the one time that I got pulled over in the small town we lived in at the time. I was only blocks from our house, was running late (yes, I had that problem then, too), had not showered, and yielded at a stop sign in the neighborhood. I was SO embarrassed that I had to talk to the policeman in such a state. Fortunately, he probably mistook my frustration for that of getting pulled over instead of my being mortified by my appearance and didn’t give me a ticket. That was the last time I drove my son to school without makeup. That is, until……

Fast forward four kids later…. I began to run the kids up to school a few blocks from our house - sans makeup! After all, it was only a few blocks, and I didn’t have to walk them into the building. As time passed, I became more comfortable with my new self and would even drive them in my pajamas with a sweatshirt pulled over the top. In California, I always drove the entire hour loop to all three schools in my pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt and no makeup. Often, I’d stop in the church to say “hi” to Rowland and my friends in my less-than-attractive state!

Now, the kids ride the bus to school. Since my little one goes, and my middle one is having a tough time with going to school this year, I often walk them to the bus stop - in my pajamas without even running a brush through my hair. Basically, the neighborhood probably knows me as “that mom who runs around the streets in her pajamas.” I’d like to say that the only time anyone sees me like that is when I’m taking the kids to the bus stop, but actually I check the mail in my jammies, take out the trash in my jammies, stand around outside visiting with my neighbors in my jammies…. Don’t worry, though, you’ll not find a picture of me on my own blog in my jammies!! After all, I do have a reputation to TRY to maintain!!

A wonderful movement started in San Jose, California a few years ago. It’s called Beautiful Day, and the goal is for churches to partner with each other to make a real difference in the community. Beautiful Day is not a program, and there is no formula for making it work. That’s the cool part of it. You just reach out to the community, ask what’s needed, and then do it!

Our church had a wonderful Beautiful Day project a few weeks ago, cleaning up and dressing up the grounds of an elementary school near our church. Some people worked harder than others, but the feeling of community and desire to help was universally felt. The principal came alongside church members as well as some school staff. The project cost the school nothing. Items were either donated or people at the church covered costs. It truly was a beautiful day and felt good to be the hands of Jesus in the community!!

The Man in Charge, My Handsome Husband

William Keeping an Eye on the Little Guys

Carson Working Very Hard!!

KeKe and Jia Taking a Break

Bob and the Blonde

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob says, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did, too, but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money.